Better than before, but more work to be done

I'm sitting here, excuse me lying here on the couch, not exactly basking in today's sparring session...but not completely defeated.
Today I merely focused on blocking, however my nervousness to counter was still there.  Both girls that I sparred last week went easier on me.  It was perfect for today, as I was so nervous that I nearly puked on the mat.  The butterflies were building to such a high degree, that I had to pause to take a moment to tell myself that no matter what it was fine.
I guess it worked to a point, I wasn't aggressive, and in my mind I was going to counter when hit on the left -hook, cross, hook and on the right--cross, hook, cross.  But that didn't work out so well.  My hooks are hitting in a weird place when they land, everything needs to be brought up (reasons why you just keep going back).  Also, I realized that even with the mental "keep your hands up", it wasn't applying to the actual punching, I was punching lower and leaving my face completely open to any sort of counter from my partner.
This sparring business is a bit like a puzzle.  Drills that we have learned the past year and a half, are making a little more sense--though right now it's only by Roxy's coaching.  I guess it's easier to say that it's not second nature yet.
Instead of dodging out of the gym, I was able to smile--fat lip and all (it wouldn't be a true session without some sort of wound now would it?).
Remembering why I do this in the first place.